In a recent conversation that sparked significant dialogue across social media, actor Ishaan Khatter touched on a profound psychological truth: men are often not taught how to be men; they are simply taught how not to be women.
While the statement is brief, it carries a heavy critique of how we raise boys. From a young age, the definition of masculinity is frequently framed as a series of subtractions rather than additions. We don’t always give boys a roadmap for healthy emotional expression or strength; instead, we give them a list of “feminine” traits to avoid.
For generations, the standard for manliness has been defined by what it is not. If a girl is seen as emotional, a boy must be stoic. If a girl is seen as nurturing, a boy must be aggressive. This creates a vacuum where a man’s identity is built on a foundation of avoidance rather than authenticity.
When we tell boys “don’t cry like a girl,” we aren’t teaching them resilience. We are teaching them to suppress their internal world, which often leads to isolation and mental health struggles later in life.
Because masculinity is defined negatively by what you aren’t, men often feel they have to “perform” their gender constantly to prove they haven’t slipped into “feminine” territory. If you remove everything “feminine” from a person, what is left isn’t necessarily a “man”—it’s often just a person who is afraid to be vulnerable.
Ishaan Khatter’s point suggests that we need a new curriculum for masculinity—one that is built on positive virtues rather than the rejection of others. True masculinity should be defined by accountability, empathy, and internal strength.
Teaching a boy to be a man should involve showing him how to respect boundaries, how to process disappointment without resorting to anger, and how to be a supportive partner and friend. These are human traits that don’t belong to any one gender, but they are essential for a healthy male identity.
Ishaan said real growth happens when we stop raising boys to fear being “like a girl” and start raising them to be men of integrity, empathy, and courage. To move forward, we have to stop using womanhood as a benchmark for what men should avoid. When we stop viewing qualities like sensitivity or kindness as weak or feminine, we allow men the freedom to be whole human beings. To know such latest updates, stay tuned to tellyboosters.com Thank you!
